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What You Need to Know

Source: Dear Client Manual – STELLA 

When you visit a sex worker 

  • Be polite and respectful.
  • For an enjoyable and relaxing experience, communicate your needs, what you prefer, and what you don’t like. Sex workers cannot read your mind.
  • Take a shower and ensure you soap and rinse your pleasure zones very well: penis, scrotum (balls), anus. If you are not circumcised, pull the foreskin of the penis back gently and wash it well. If a sex worker comes to see you, it would be nice to have a clean towel and soap ready for her as well.
  • Don’t consume a lot of alcohol or drugs. These substances can diminish your capacity to have an erection, which can be frustrating for both you and the sex worker. Alcohol and drugs can also affect your judgement and cause you to be aggressive. We do not accept aggressive behaviour.
  • Be clear about what services you would like and the amount of money that you are ready to spend.
  • Pay in advance and ensure that we don’t have to ask. Be discreet, for both your security and ours. Don’t forget that prices are non-negotiable.
  • Respect the time limit that has been given to you. If you would like to prolong your visit, renegotiate the price.
  • Be ready to have condoms and water-based lube with you. In general, we will have our own supplies, but it is always good to have your own, just in case.
  • Don’t be shocked by condoms. They are used for your protection and ours. Condoms are necessary for oral sex as well as for vaginal and anal sex. Using a condom is non-negotiable.
  • Words and expressions like “hard/soft”, “rough/ gentle”, and “fast/slow” have different meanings for different people. Be clear about what these words mean to you.
  • If you would like an erotic conversation or dirty talk, or to use particular words during a service, speak with the sex worker beforehand. It is essential to respect a sex worker’s limits about her decision. Sex workers can be comfortable with some things, and not with others.
  • It is essential, during role-playing and domination, to have ‘safe words’, key words that indicate the limits that you or the sex worker may have. You must respect them as we will. Each word does not mean the same thing to everyone.
  • Remember that sex workers are people, like everyone else. Give us the same respect that you give to yourself and to others.
  • Be yourself. Client/Sex Worker relationships are built on TRUST. Don’t be worried if you don’t have experience. We are professionals and we are there to help you. Clearly express your desires and limits, and then we will know what you are comfortable with.
  • Assume absolutely nothing! About anything! It’s better to talk! Be comfortable: if you have any questions, ask them!

In a Strip Club

  • If you are visiting a strip club, be respectful to each dancer.
  • Ask the dancer how much it costs for a single dance, many dancers, or a period of time. Ask what is and what is not acceptable in terms of touching. Respect the limits of each dancer and the establishment.
  • Sexual acts like fellatio, penetration, and touching genitals are illegal in a strip club. In a private cabin, touching the breasts and buttocks of a dancer are legal.
  • If you have an agreement with a dancer, respect her prices, the time given to you for the service, and her limits.
  • Do NOT take photos of the workers unless you have EXPLICIT permission

On the Street

  • Each sex worker has a preferred place to go. Let her bring you to her favourite spot where the service will take place.
  • Always pay in advance. Respect the fixed prices of the worker, and don’t try to bargain her down to a lower price. Do not discuss prices on the street.
  • On the street, the majority of sex workers charge by the service, not by the hour.
  • If the person you have approached on the street for a service does not respond or says “no”, do not insist. Walk away.
  • Respect the people that live in the neighbourhood. Do not ask for a service on private property, for example.
  • Don’t throw used condoms, their packaging, tissues or other pieces of garbage in the street. Put them into a trash bin at the corner of the street, at the gas station or elsewhere.
  • While in a car, leave the doors unlocked.
  • Get to know the sex worker’s name, and share your name as well. If someone bothers you, you could say that you are in the company of your new and charming friend!

RESPECT AND NO VIOLENCE!

  • We ask you to be respectful and that you respect the rules of the game and the understanding that you have with us. We ask that you respect our limits and we insist that you are not violent. We demand that you respect the dignity of all sex workers.
  • Unfortunately, some clients try to intimidate, manipulate, harass or harm us from time to time. These behaviours are unacceptable and disrespectful, and are considered violent acts. They ARE NOT a part of our work!
  • It is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE to be disrespectful and violent with a sex worker. These behaviours are assaults: criminal infractions punishable by law.

You are guilty of an assault if you:

  • Hit a sex worker;
  • Use physical force to control or hurt, for example pushing down the head of a sex worker during fellatio;
  • Force a sex worker to perform a sexual act that was not negotiated in advance as part of a service, a sexual act that she has not given consent to;
  • Force a sex worker to continue when she has asked you to stop;
  • Touch a sex worker in a way that that she is uncomfortable with, when she asks you to stop and you still continue;
  • Attempt to manipulate a sex worker with ideas, words, and the threat of fearful consequences;
  • Threaten, speak loudly, break objects, attempt to intimidate, or frighten;
  • Follow, attempt to follow, or harass a sex worker in person, by car, or by telephone;
  • Talk degradingly or disrespectfully, or talk in a way that will hurt the integrity, identity or dignity of a person as a woman or a sex worker;
  • Don’t respect the limits of a sex worker;
  • Insult a sex worker as a negative reaction to the limits she sets;
  • Take advantage of or abuse a sex worker in any way;
  • Don’t pay a sex worker for a service;
  • Steal the money of a sex worker.
  • If you assault a sex worker, you are no longer a client. You are an aggressor. You run the risk of being criminally accused and standing trial. You can also be charged if you assault a sex worker outside of her working hours. You can be sent to jail.

Have more questions? Ask us!

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